Lasts and Firsts

First published June 2013

When I first wrote this, my husband and I were going through many 'lasts' with our high school kids. I have reprinted this in italics and will comment at the end with new insights.

Well, this month has certainly been a month of 'lasts.' Last time taking my oldest daughter to school, last time proof-reading her papers, last time signing her service hours and tonight, the last piano recital. I have been doing the piano recitals for a bunch of years now. Let's see....I think my oldest was six or seven when we started and he is 21 now, so yes, a bunch of years. It might be the last for a while. My younger two have taken off in different instrumental directions, so piano recitals are on hiatus.

I really don't like the 'lasts'...I really don't like change. Period. I remember when my oldest son graduated and then headed off to college four hours away. It was a terribly emotional time. I remember a friend telling me that I needed to really grieve, and I remember crying every night for a week after he left. Time does march on and no matter what we do, it just goes faster and faster.

I work at a children's consignment shop and we have moms come in with their little ones...babies that are so tiny and sweet. I see moms that are stressed and they want a break! I just want to look at them and tell them to savor it all. Enjoy the moment. Enjoy the stress. Enjoy holding them when they won't stop crying. Enjoy holding them when they are sick. Just enjoy. I know that the baby and toddler years are hard. I survived four toddlers! And now that I'm in the teenage (and beyond) years, I yearn to go back. In many ways, things were simpler. I guess we could argue all day about which stage of life is harder.

But today, I argue that the teenage years bring a realization that the years are numbered. Your time with them is short. And life gets busier, making everything go so much faster.

So here we are...not at our first piano recital for our daughter (which, by the way, she was too scared to play and cried!), but at our last (and she didn't cry tonight....she played beautifully). We watched her march in to her graduation to Pomp and Circumstance a few weeks ago, sent her off on a trip with her friends and helped her to sign up for college classes. Yes, life marches on, but this is the part I don't like. This is when I wish I was younger and that the kids were younger. But this is how it goes. They are tiny, cute and funny! Then they grow SO FAST and finally, they fly. If we've done our jobs well, they will fly with confidence, ready to try new things, meet new people and go to new places. And that is a new adventure in itself. So, I guess I will stop focusing on the lasts and focus on all the firsts that are yet to come!

New Comments August, 2025

I reread this and a few tears come to my eyes. I still miss those times and now that all of my children have flown the nest, the quiet of my house is haunting. But rest assured, there are all those firsts. I celebrate the first wedding, the first grandchild, (who brings many new loud noises to the house) the first jobs, and the many successes that these children are seeing as they follow God. But they have also seen disappointments and they return to family for guidance and prayer. They never leave the family (even if they are physically or emotionally distant from us for a time). I have learned that things 'pass' -- they don't end if they are part of our memories. The new things bring a delight in and of themselves. Life is a constant celebration. Don't look back too long, but look forward, with happy anticipation of all that is to come!