Close a Window, Open a Door

First published in June, 2013

I recently read someone's facebook page and they were pondering how to help their kids through disappointment or how to help them avoid disappointment. It made me think of the times my kids have been rejected, overlooked or disappointed. It broke my heart (and still does). There is a part of me that wants to jump in and fix what was going on. But, usually better sense prevails and I let things take their course. Usually something better comes along or it is an opportunity to learn some lesson. Not always, but most of the time.

I remember being overlooked or rejected as a kid as playground teams were selected...I was never great at sports, so I was often the last pick for these games. There always seemed to be someone just a little (or sometimes a lot!) better at things than me. That was true in school, musical pursuits, and other things. I don't remember giving up or not being willing to try things...I think that first born status brought with it a confidence or security in who I was. It's a good thing I had a little bit of built-in confidence because I was the poster child for the awkward kid...I had gross glasses, annoyingly large, silver braces and hair that was never really attractive. By high school, I had contact lenses, the braces came off and the hair became big (imagine 80's styles). I was looking a little better and had figured out that music, drama and academics were my 'jam.' When I was in 10th grade, I tried out to be drum major of the high school band. There were two of us vying for this title and the whole time, I had a sinking feeling that I wouldn't be chosen. I did have the loudest mouth, had good musical skill and was enthusiastic, but knew that my friend was a little better at those things. I was pretty disappointed when I was not chosen, but my parents, because of their faith, were convinced that God had something else for me. There was a reason that I had been overlooked and slowly I began to recover from that blow. I checked my attitude and decided to pursue a different instrument to help the bass section of the band and moved on. I wasn't sure how God would ever use this in a positive way.

But God -- the two most significant words in Scripture and in my life! A year or so later, I came home from school to my mom freaking out (well, freaking out for her -- she was still pretty much in control) over some mail that had arrived for me that day. Two big envelopes had arrived from the McDonalds All-American corporate organization. She was convinced that I had been selected for the All-American Band, sponsored by McDonalds (based on what she could see through the envelope). I thought she had lost her mind because I had never applied for or tried out for anything. I didn't realize that, at that time, the musicians were screened through being participants in their All-State band and nominated by their band director. The selection committee also considered what the participants could bring to both a marching band and a concert band. Remember that new instrument I had learned? I could bring three different instruments to the table!

But I hadn't opened the envelope yet -- I certainly wasn't talented enough for something like that! As I nervously opened the envelope, it only took a moment to realize that I HAD been selected for the All-American Band. I was one of the two students that would represent Maryland in the band that marched in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and played at Carnegie Hall. NO WAY!!! My band director had nominated me and another student. I was asked to play two different instruments -- one in the marching band and one in the concert band.

That November, I would embark on the most amazing week of my life (at least, to that point). We lived like royalty in New York City, and met some amazing people. And that band was amazing. Had I not been turned down for Drum Major, I would not have embarked on learning a new instrument and wouldn't have had the flexibility to switch instruments.

The moral of the story and a life-long lesson for me....I just need to hold on to the hope that God, in the midst of disappointments, is at work. He will take us on a journey and will give direction. Just like Joseph in Genesis. His sale into slavery by his brothers brought him to Egypt, where his faithfulness made him the #2 guy in the kingdom. He was ultimately able to save the world and his family, God's chosen people, from starvation. God's way is not always ours. I learned that in high school and have carried it through my life!